Thread: I am so sad
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Old 06-28-2003, 03:37 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Heavens
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Join Date: Apr 2003
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REsponse to Stephainie's post

Good morning!

Yes, thanks Stephanie for the help. I have found the site very helpful when I visited, and I put it in my favorites. I hope that you and your family can find some comfort, too. When you mentioned your Dad crying, it reminds me of when my cousin Danny, died last November. He was my Daddy's twin brother, Bobby's, youngest of two sons. The oldest son, Bobby, Jr., called to notify me. He is a big, incredible hulk of a guy who has taught as a coach all of his adult life. He was crying, just like you described, audibly, but no talk of it. Trying to be brave, but his voice cracked and gave it away. I was trying to beg off going to Knoxville from Charleston, because I didn't want to miss anymore work. But when he started to cry, I had to go. He had been there for me when Daddy died in September 1991, and when my brother died in Decemeber, 1999. He had driven all the way from Knoxville with cellulitis in his knee (a chronic sports injury, I think). He had sat with me on the setee at Stuhrs' Funeral Home on Calhoun Street and let me pretend he was my brother, and let me talk and talk and talk...which is how I work through everything. I knew then I had to go to Knoxville. I was rewarded, not only with the gift of seeing him and his family, but also with the breathtaking sight of the mountains as a light snow began to fall the day I headed for home. It was not a dangerous snow, it did not stick on the road, but the flakes in the air and on the mountain peaks around me in the distance were breathtakingly beautiful. My anxiety disorder had me gripping the wheel like I was falling from the mountain everytime we would be beside a big drop off the side of the road, as I am anxious about heights, yet my anxiety was juxtaposed with the awe of the beauty around me, and I was aware of the presence of it in the midst of the anxiety and the grief. I was also rewarded with a new relationship with my cousin Danny's daughter. She is a beautiful girl who is struggling to come to grips with the fact that his alcoholism created an obstacle to their communication many times. She is now eighteen and will be a freshman in college in the fall. When I showed her some pictures of her Daddy that I had borrowed from my mother from when she was little and she and her mother and her Daddy were a new family and liviing in Charleston, she was charmed and said that she had never seen her Daddy and Mama together before that she was old enough to remember. So, a friendship was born between us. We have kept in touch, and I have mailed her copies of the photos.
I agree that the idea of your parents going on a vacation is just what the doctor ordered. I hope that your family will find comforts in ways like that and each other.

Love ya,
Nancy

P. S. Attached below is another one of my little friends.
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