Confusion about feelings are one of my characteristics as an ACOA.
Intimacy was often a "missing element" in my relationships because of issues I had with trust and making myself vulnerable to another human being.
Withdrawal,isolation,numbness and denial of my feelings were survival skills that I learned as a child growing up in a dysfunctional environment.
But now these same survival skills that I depended on so much has bore some very bitter fruit in my adult life.
Having a meaninful relationship with another human being is a very deep need I feel inside and yet at the same time I lack the survival skills needed in order to make that relationship flourish.
It is a terrible place for the adult child of an alcoholic to find themself especially after a childhood of misery.
Unresolved childhood issues never go away.I am forty years old and I am just beginning to understand that.They will always come back and haunt my present.
I am on a journey of discovery which is the first part of the recovery process.