I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I feel your pain. It was so hard for me when my husband and I separated. It was the first time we separated and lasted so long. I read the books Co-dependent no more and When women love to much. It made me think and see why I do the things I do. I started working on myself one day at a time. I stopped answering his phone call or calling him. This forum also helped me understand I was not alone. I kept telling myself, he has the choice of coming back or changing for us if he wanted to.I still miss him, worry about him but it is different. I have learned we can love and care from a distance but it doesn' t mean we have to live that chaotic life. It takes time but it does get easier. You will get there ...you have so much support from this forum. And work on yourself things will get better for you.