Thread: I'm so rude...
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Old 05-29-2006, 11:14 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
minnie
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Clancy - sorry if you thought I was giving you flak, that wasn't my intention. I am just very wary of attributing certain behaviours to drinking when in actual fact it is a seperate issue, although so often co-existing. I feel we get a distorted view on SR as there is an element of self-selection involved in many cases - i.e. it is the behaviours that causes partners to reach out for help. There are plenty of heavy drinkers who never indulge in manipulative and abusive behaviour and indeed, many manipulators who never drink. I sense that there are more examples of the two co-exisiting on here to give a false sense of causality. For what it's worth, I have a hunch that the drivers that cause some to have an unhealthy drinking pattern are similar to those that create the manipulation, hence the tree analogy earlier. Rather than seeing the tree with "alcoholism" at the roots and manipulative/abusive behaviour as the branches, I prefer to view the roots as whatever shaped us over time, the trunk as the level of self-worth in a person and the branches as whatever grows from those two factors. (I sense this may work better as a diagram!).

Hope that all makes sense.
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