I just got back from an AA meeting. Have a temp sponsor. But it's like the chicken or the egg. What do I focus on - my dependency on alcohol or my dependency on the X? I think if I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have stayed with him this long. I drink, get depressed, seek him out for comfort - cycle again and again. However, he is too far gone in his disease to be of any help to me - he cannot function for himself at this point. This is hard to accept - reality of who he has become and of what I have to do to save myself. I'm the one that thougt I was doing the right thing by "ending" it with him. Maybe I foolishly thought that if I stay gone long enough - he'll get help. Seems that by me being gone - his drinking got worse very quickly. Sad - for both of us.