Hello Keeping Quiet.
I used to think of myself as a problem drinker. I told myself I had to "be careful"... those are actually my mother's words ... which translated I needed to not drink. I did that without knowing a darn thing about alcoholism or AA or recovery of any kind. Now that I've been hanging out here because of codependency, I've taken a number of those "are you an alcoholic" quizzes. On most of them I get a yes. On the other hand, not drinking is really not that tough for me, so it's hard for me to own the word. But I'm not sure it matters what you call it. If you drink dangerously, too much, too often... whatever... you need to knock it off. Unfortunately for the people that love those problem drinkers, the resolve has to come from inside the drinker.
It's hard to say if he really believes what he's telling you. But it's probably a good sign that he at least says "problem" when he refers to his drinking. You can read a lot of stories on this board from people whose loved one thought the problem was with everyone else.
I hope you will take Jojo's suggestion and check out an alanon meeting in your area. Lots of people are dealing with the same things you are, and it helps to know you are not alone. If you feel you have codependency problems, the alanon steps can help you work those out.
Welcome to the forums! Keep posting.
Hugs,
Smoke