Hi Yingyang,
Welcome to the crowd! You've found a place where all of us can identify with your rollercoaster of emotions for we are living it, too.
I think you are on the right track by checking out another Al Anon meeting and getting the audio book of Codependent No More. Al Anon has truly changed my life and the way I look at the problem of alcohol/drugs in my A's life. Even though my posts scream that I'm in a tizzy some days (we don't get well overnight), my life is truly much more peaceful than it was before I found this board and became a member of Al Anon.
And I'm glad you're going to family week. The professionals there will be able to help you understand and you'll have the opportunity to ask questions, too.
Just take it one day at a time, yingyang. It's way too overwhelming if you continue to think about everything that has gone on and then everything you want to go on.
Now keep coming back and keep us posted. We do care.
Hugs,
Hangin' In