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Old 03-16-2006, 09:56 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
fighter4life
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Worcester, MA
Posts: 11
a different perspective

I am an alcoholic. I am currently 20 days sober and feel better than ever. My fiancee left me 4 wks ago as a result of my drinking. He dealt with it for a while.. I wasn't always this way... but now I guess he just can't.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, it's hard for both sides to understand. On my side.. I'm sober. He and my son (whom he took as well) mean the world to me and I just don't understand why he says (as of last night) "I just can't take the chance that you will pick up another drink. I'm proud of you, but I can't seem to get past it."

It hurts like hell. I know I'll never drink again. I am in the program, I have 2 older daughters from a previous marriage (ended in his physical abuse on me which is when the drinking started) that I am accountable too. I am trying to get him back but I think it's too late. He wants to come over Sat. to start moving out his things since my girls will be with their Dad.

I constantly educate myself to try and understand his side.. your side. With all that's happened I can totally understand needing to get out... it's not a good enviornment or a way to live. I know he's not going to any meetings and it surprises me because he grew up around a family full of alcoholics and addicts. See... he got together with one too. I don't know why this happens to us. I don't think anyone does. It's just part of life.

I guess my perspective at this point is that Life Happens. There are problems, challenges, struggles. Whether they deal with infidelity, finances, kids, addictions... it doesn't matter. I guess it's just up to the individual as to figuering out what they can handle, what's important, what they will or will not deal with. In my case... he won't deal with it. I brought it up to him several times and he never dealt with it. Now it's over...

Take some time for you and carefully decide what it is that is most important to you and what you're willing to deal with. It may clear things up a bit. Whatever your decision is... it is. Be true to you because without that you won't be true to anyone else.

Good luck and God Bless!
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