Originally posted by margo
Phoenix - I think when those things happened to us as kids, the question became, for me anyway, What did I do wrong? When you can't come up with a reason, you start to doubt yourself. If that happens often enough, we start to doubt everything about ourselves and it carries through. I think.
It troubles me some.For so many years I was not allowed to have my own voice.I was expected simply to exist as an echo.When I would rebel,and go my own way,the price could be very high.I became a very quiet person,soft spoken and easily spooked.
It's taken so long to reach a point where I will sometimes speak up and even dare to disagree.When I do,I am so careful.I try to be objective and not forceful.I try to present my point of view without ridiculing the other person.I never insist that the other person should agree with me.
To be that careful and somehow still find myself in hot water....
I probably take it way too hard.
Originally posted by margo
You know, it's funny - I've always longed to have the ability to distance myself from my feelings, to feel like I could control my responses to certain things with intellect instead of emotion.
I see so much stength in you Phoenix, and I really admire YOU! 
Thanks Margo.I guess I tried to distance myself from my feelings when I was using.Now I just distance myself from the things that trigger painful feelings.Sometimes that's ok,and sometimes it isn't
phoenix