Forgiving ourselves
When this forum started I grabbed a couple books at the library and looked at that website I posted. I curled up with the books and waited for the lightbulbs to go off. What I found when trying to focus on my own past was something I did not expect.
My own mistakes were staring me in the face. I have been working the steps a long time and I thought I had put my mistakes where they belong, but it is hard to read about how children are treated without looking at my own parenting.
I know that my parents did the best they knew how to do...I want to really, in my heart, give myself that same forgiveness.
Now my mom came from a truly abusive situation coupled with the fact that her parents did not speak to each other...not one word...for the last 10 years of my grandfathers life. When I think of these things I feel empathy and compassion for her.
Why is it so difficult to do the same for myself? I am pretty strong but the ice still gets thin when I go there.
Hugs,
JT