This is an awesome thread.
dop -
you are right, it was alot for a kid to go through watching her mother go through that, that is when I shut down. And if we would have been having this conversation before I got sober, my take on it was completely different. I worked the steps I discussed this in great detail with my first sponsor, I have let go of the blame for it, that I guess is why I say I was pretty normal and then in the next sentence talk about my mom have a nervous breakdown. I guess the statement can be very confusing. But as MG said so well, it is because I have worked through it myself. I did not remember being molested until just a few years ago. My HP does not give me more than I can handle, and HE knew I could not handle remembering that until then, I believe that with all my heart. I say my childhood was normal, a gift of my sobriety to have worked through those things. And the most interesting thing is I didn't even realized it until I read your response. There is nothing normal about watching your mom have a breakdown, that changed who I was as a person, as a female as a little girl. You are right I am looking back on it not only as an adult but as an adult who has been blessed to work through alot of stuff from the past due to my addiction. But it does not have to change who I am today and that is what is important...if that makes any sense.
MG I have siblings, that still can't even go there and it shows in their lives.
JT - my 4 cents for what it is worth. Regarding the Beavette, it is about how the situation is handled. I know my moms breakdown and me being molested are completely differenet situations than the Beavettes, but still it is about how the situation is handled with him. We never talked about things in my house, ever!! Talk to the little guy, as I am sure you do. Kids have to be given things in small doses that they can understand. He is lucky to have a grandma in recovery that understands how important it is to not stuff your feelings.!!!