Pandora's Box
Hello JT and gang.
Isn't Pandora the chick who opened the box of troubles and couldn't get it closed back up? I'm really glad you guys have added this forum and I have been intrigued with reading here. But I'm scared to post. LOL And you could have knocked me over with a feather when I read those 13 charactersitics. I don't have all of them, but a significant amount. Like oh, say ... 10 and a half.
With the kind assistance of the gang on the RAPS board, I have been examining some bad habits I have. Their thoughts and my ponderings have shown me that I may just belong over here. But remember those funny commericials "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up?" Well... Help. I'm talking and I can't shut up. That one thread got me going on my past so fervently that I swear my life is flashing in front of my eyes... and I can't seem to stop telling people about it. That's pretty different for me. I usually keep myself to myself. Part of me is screaming "Look at me look at me look at ME!" and part of me feels really obnoxious and embarassed about it.
I hope some of you will tell me you experienced this when you got all introspective on yourself. I feel guilty. Not really for burning up people's eyes around here... after all they can stop reading if it all becomes too trite for them. But like JT I feel that my parents always did the best they knew how for me. It seems ungrateful to be looking for clues to my flaws in my childhood... especially right after mother's day. LOL It seems self pitying. It seems self centered. It seems whiney.
Nobody ever walked out on me as a kid. I was never hungry or smacked around. Some of the stories I've read have made me physically hurt. We had lots of tension and lots of loud words. We had "don't upset Dad but to heck with Mom because she's upset no matter what you do". But heartsick horror we didn't have. So I also feel sort of... oh... unworthy. Weak?
Where was I going with this? Oh, yeh. Got guilt?
Dop