Originally Posted by
trailmix 
The alcoholism drove you to that point, but that's part of you, rather than "making" you that way. Why is that important? Not to place "blame" at all, but it's something to be looked at maybe. Maybe worth looking at how you would like to react/behave if you were in the same situation again.
There is very little time to focus on relationships when alcoholism is involved. The alcoholism takes center stage for everyone. Your relationship is very damaged, your wife is in a bit of a crisis. All of this is going to take time to heal.
The relationship may or may not be able to be saved.
Are you focusing on yourself, what you want and focusing on your children or do you find yourself ruminating a lot about your wife/your relationship with her?
Yes I am focusing on myself seeing a therapist weekly now to work on my issues. Spending more time at church too with the kids 3 times a week. Giving her the space she asked for doing my best to better myself for me my kids. I don’t want to be a trigger for her or anymore and want do what is best for my kids. Right she said she can’t love herself, can’t love me it love the kids right now. So that is what I am doing detaching with love and focusing on me n the kids.