Old 01-26-2023, 01:44 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
trailmix
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As you learn about addiction you will find that what he is saying to you is addiction 101:

I'd be OK if it weren't for you

The addict blames his addictive behavior on his significant other, usually his spouse. He feels resentful and self-pitying about the way he considers himself to be treated and uses this to justify his addiction. Since one of the commonest causes of resentment and self-pity in addicts is criticism by others of their addictive behavior, and since the characteristic response of the addict to such criticism is to escalate addictive behavior, this process tends to be self-perpetuating. The addict is often quite cruel in highlighting, exaggerating and exploiting any and every defect or flaw the significant other may have, or even in fabricating them out of his own mind in order to justify and rationalize his own behavior.

Addiction, Lies and Relationships
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