I know I can do this. I've built up enough of the parts now, I think. I can put them together.
I was reading this long thread where someone went through bad withdrawal symptoms. It was hard to read, emotional. I don't really suffer the same kind of withdrawals. Yet.
It's just so easy to compare myself out of this thing. To quickly forget the truth. I gotta forget the comparing, I've been in my own personal hell with drinking. I got to some pretty dark places over the past few months. It's sad.
I can't believe I've walked around low-key hating myself for all these years. Doing it to myself. Watching it happen in a way. Not wanting to exist anymore and justifying it. Too scared to talk to anyone or ask for help.
There's so much wrong with me but almost every bit of it is intertwined with the alcohol.
No more romanticising it.
No planning on drinking next year, on the trip, on the special occasion.
No minimizing.
Not even a little bit.