Thanks again everyone!
I managed to fit in 3 meetings this weekend and spend some time reading/journaling. I’m sober and committed, but mourning the loss of my “perfect” record. Isn’t that crazy!?!?
I thought I could do recovery perfectly!!!
Because, it’s somewhat easy to say, “well, I’m only human,” but I think, deep down, I kinda thought I was more than that. I’ve always tried to be MORE, BETTER, PERFECT.
But, it turns out, I’m just me. When I get lonely or bored or scared I often want the feeling to go away. And alcohol does that. Yet, it makes the fear and boredom and loneliness circle back around x 10.
I will remember this. When I struggle, there is no shortcut. There is no escape from discomfort- it is simply part of life.
Today I pray for courage to walk through the discomfort. To meet it with understanding and assurance that I will be delivered. I do not need to run away (chemically). The only path is through.