Stuff can seem more complicated at Xmas. It's what I do that matters, thoughts and feelings can go from being happy in a moment- mild weather,walking dog- then I will see something that reminds me of being in a family...and sadness, guilt, loneliness take over, and then.....the simple ODAATime can be, sometimes one minute at a time. And that open the flood gates to every miserable memory, peppered with emotions to take over in c-PTSD. I suppose being through what I have, including 3 relatives (2 were important to me) dying in a matter of weeks has hit me hard....I may not have got it right yet, but at least I know what not to do. Not drinking booze is at the top of the list.