DriGuy

Yes my AV was the thing that scared me the most. Rather than strong, I think of it as crafty, insidious, psychopathic, and totally uninterested in my physical and mental well being. It's very good at crafting logical fallacies that that sound momentarily credible, but lead back to the nightmare of drinking. Getting through the first week of obsessive craving was a hellish struggle, but the AV mind games that followed were not like that. Sometimes the AV seemed downright friendly, as it encouraged be to think I had done so well that I deserved a drink as a reward. It almost got me once, but I was aware that I could never drink again and expect things to be different. You can't stop being vigilant toward the AV and being ready to walk away from it. Don't argue with it. Learn to walk away. Arguing with it would be as pointless as having a debate about black holes with Stephen Hawking. It would be waste of time. Just vow to never drink another drop, and stick to your guns. Eventually, I became naturally vigilant, where instead of being aware of my AV all the time, vigilance just worked in the background, but is there when I need it.