DesignerRuby

Hi everyone,


I'm new here, so I appreciate any comments, insight or feedback on my situation.

I was with my, now, ex for a total of 10 years. The last three of those years they suffered with alcoholism. In all likelihood, they suffered with it for longer but I didn't know.

The last three years have been filled with lying, hiding bottles, losing their job, suffering friendships, suffering relationship and more. I didn't know this at the time, only now that I've started therapy, but I was the typical codependent, providing a safe home, sacrificing my life to ensure they are safe, paying their bills.

After a long journey to find a rehab facility and the money for rehab, their family and I finally got them into a 30 treatment facility. Two weeks into treatment, I could sense their attitude toward me shifting a bit to the colder side. We were allowed a 30 minute Zoom call one Sunday, where they read a letter out loud to me ending our 10 year relationship citing that they needed to focus on themself and their recovery work and that our relationship wasn't what they wanted in life anymore. They said I could keep everything we accumulated in the house (the house is mine), and they didn't want anything except a few items. They even said to keep the dog that we adopted together. They said they loved me, but it was a 'different love now.' I felt like their safety and recovery depended on this, so I wanted to ensure the best for them and although I was upset and crying, I agreed to back away and let them go. I've been heart broken ever since.

Two weeks later, they got out of rehab and asked to come pick some items up from the house. They did, and it was awkward but I was respectful not to push or argue as I didn't want it to set them off or be a cause for relapse. They left after an hour, and very little was said between us.

Three days later, their facebook is updated to 'In a relationship...' with their roommate from rehab! I now know rehab romances are not that uncommon, but it hit me like a truck. Now they're living with them full time, in this person's parent's basement, with zero money, and I've learned this new partner has boarderline disability disorder.

It's so hard to just suddenly accept our life together is over, and I can't seem to stop caring about them. I know that's ridiculous after all the hurt.

I feel so rejected and heartbroken. I've been struggling to try and understand this. We had a great life together, on paper we had it all. What happened!? I read a lot about Pink Cloud Syndrome, and rehab romances which provides some kind of comfort I suppose.

I'm just so torn apart, and wondered if anyone has had experience with this rehab romance bs.

Thanks so much