Hey Melissa,
Thanks for sharing that. I know what you mean. Nothing I ever did was good enough either so why do I think it's going to change?
A lot of how I looked at my adult child stuff with my therapist was to look at my relationships today. I still tend to surround myself with people who don't allow mw to feel or disagree with the way I feel so I shut down. I get mad instead of hurt even though what I really feel is very hurt. I love the way JT put it in another thread. She said she always has the need to check her reality with other people. I do exactly that. I do have people in my life that have really good recovery and allow me my feelings without invalidating them like my sposor. She disagrees with me all the time but not without some kind of assurance that makes me feel like I am glad that I shared how I felt. It's so important for me to be able to express my feelings because that is how I learn and grow. I just have to be prepared and strong enough within myself to know it's the right thing to do and that no matter what I feel if I feel it then it's OK.