I've found myself constantly seeking approval from my dad & step-mother, even now that I'm all grown up! I have to ask myself, why in the world would I need approval from a man who molested me?! Why do I need approval from a woman who slapped me so hard my lip would swell up and bleed, or would beat me with anything that was handy (broom handles, wooden hair brushes, etc.) and leave bruises that lasted for weeks?! Nothing I ever did while I was growing up was good enough, so what makes me think anything would be different now?
I also grew up not being allowed to have feelings. I learned early on that it didn't matter what I thought or what I felt! So, I learned to stuff everything way down deep! Problem with that is that it never stays where you put it! The bad stuff always comes out in some way! I've slowly learned that it is okay for me to have feelings and to express them, even if nobody agrees with me. From the moment my daughter could talk, I've tried to encourage her to say what she thinks. It's okay if we don't always agree and she might not always get her way, but it is totally alright for us to have differing opinions!