In that seven week period You were the one saying “No” to IT.
There were two voices in that conversation , practicing AVRT helps to identify the parties in the conversation. You were the one who said ‘you can have one at xmas’ , You were at that time not feeding It the precious stuff , so you were giving the go ahead ,the permission. With the permission granted IT went into overdrive and convinced You to start exercising the permission. That is the experience of active addiction , the state of ambivalence, it is the experience of starting to recognize the AV , only without first identifying the mechanism that will produce the actual separation.
Making a Big Plan is the mechanism that creates the separation and brings the appropriate identification to the fore . When you say , I will never use cocaine again and I will never change my mind on that decision , any thought of future cocaine use is AV.