Well first of all Caligirl, I'm so sorry you are in this situation and have been so hurt. To answer your question, yes, I have seen this several times here at SR.
Person goes to rehab, gets sober for what may be the first time in years - is not nearly in actual recovery and goes off the rails. Quick new relationship, lack of feeling, coldness, extreme selfishness.
Really addiction is terribly selfish among other things and while alcohol might (sometimes) take the really hard edge off that self-centeredness, once sober, even that is gone.
His story (or truth) about your lack of giddiness about moving for no good reason except he likes this new town he has been in for 15 minutes shows that lack of any recovery. He failed to take in to consideration you, your children, your family at all. He wants what he wants and he wants it now.
That alone is something to focus on. That is who he is now without his first love (drugs). It could take him years to get a firm footing (and he will need help) in recovery. Is this self-centered guy the one you knew and loved? I very much doubt it.
Is he even sober? His over-drinking cough syrup is questionable. He may have even relapsed by now. He didn't really make the call to get sober on his own. There was an intervention - he may even be blaming everyone else now, including you, you may have become the enemy (to his addiction and in turn to him).
The whole not making changes for a year is just a suggestion some people make, it's probably a good suggestion but people get to make their own decisions about that, of course.
Does anyone think there is a chance he will even talk to me ever again, even simply as a friend? Isn't part of the 12 Steps not causing pain or harm to others?
It's about living life on life's terms, about making amends to those you have hurt. About being kind and humble and of service to others. It can take a lot of time to get to any of those points, plus the person has to take it seriously and really work at it.
Will he talk to you again? Hard to say. I suspect by the time that point comes, if ever, you won't want to talk to him.