SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - This has been one of the worst summers of my life.
Old 08-15-2022, 08:26 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Wolf_22
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I'm making it, RS. I'm glad you asked because just today, I signed the paperwork for the loan I need to pay for the re-manufactured engine swap that I'm getting done to my truck on Monday. It's been on my mind all day. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fighting anxiety over the actual work that's going to be done to my baby... Stereotypical thoughts are flooding my head, like, "What if I get a lemon?" or "What if the guys miss a bolt, forget to connect a thing?" I guess I just need to do it and hope everything just works out because I keep coming back around to the fact that the majority of the major engine components (timing chain, rods and pistons, oil rings, header, lower block, crank and cams, valves, internal oil pump that comes with the block, etc.) are going to fall into a 3-year and or 100k mile warranty with the majority of the other brand new modules I'm also getting with all this--like a radiator, alternator, power-steering pump, starter, new mounts, and some new cross-member jounces--are also coming with a warranty (some even falling into the main block warranty with others maybe a lesser warranty, but all having at least SOME coverage). As good as that is, especially for the age and mileage my truck has in this situation, I still can't stop feeling anxiety over it and my new $12k debt! Ha. I laugh about it a little because, I mean, I might as well, right? Laughing about it is better than crying. I mean, these things just happen. It's life, right? Vehicles break down, roofs spring leaks, pipes burst, "crud" happens sometimes... But my hope is that the shop is able to stick to their expected ~$10k amount so that I can use about $2k to treat myself. It's difficult to know if they'll come across anything during the work, such as any cracked manifolds or some sort of frame issue. I doubt they'll find anything bad with the frame--it's actually in pretty good shape--but I'm not sure about the manifolds or anything else, which is why the shop rep advised that I keep at least a $200 buffer to handle anything like those unknowns. So if they can keep close to the $10k mark, I'm going to take whatever difference I have and buy myself a new TIG welder, the kayak, and maybe a few smaller goodies like a new floor sweeper and steam cleaner.

As someone who lost his father, I can assure you that I had always wished my father would've bit the bullet and just came over to my house to hang out or see if I'd like to grab a stupid cup of coffee. Just out of the blue. He never really did that, especially since we weren't on talking terms, so at the risk of giving you some unwarranted advice about your son, I can only suggest that you bite the bullet and express to him how much it would mean to hang out more on the boat. It sounds fun and it'd be a great way to bond. It wouldn't have to be every other day or anything that frequent, but maybe arrange a bi-weekly kind of thing? It would give you both something to look forward to. God knows we all need that in today's world. I can't wait to get my kayak because where I live, we have these old strip pits-turned-ponds that locals go to but not enough to be crowded... So I can't wait. I've been wanting to go to the "better spots" where the big fish hang out. It's going to be optimum weather for that, too, because here in Indiana, the temperature is FINALLY beginning to fall down into that fall-like weather and that's my favorite time of the year. I can see myself on the water in my kayak, thermos of coffee in one hand, fishing pole in the other. Ha. I probably won't even have the line in the water--I'll be that guy who falls asleep in some remote area despite being loaded up with bold mud, but having a ball nonetheless. Ha.

I feel ya about depression, RS. I sometimes fall into that pit whenever I think about my ex-girlfriend or the parents. I always do everything alone, which I'm trying to change in baby steps, but for the times when I'm forced to be by myself, I still try to push myself out into the world. I think that's why I go to Starbucks--or any coffee shop, really--with a book: it lets me be sociable in baby steps, ya know? I've made some friends doing this. Not super close friends that I could go kayaking with, necessarily, but people I can at least shoot the breeze with.
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