Old 07-04-2022, 05:40 PM
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Jason0323
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2022
Posts: 14
Alone and feeling discarded / will rehab END my marriage?

###Posted previously in the wrong forum (1st timer mistake)###

Hi all -

I don't even know where to begin. My wife went to rehab after a long road of lies, being fired, driving drunk with our kids, the "typical" stuff we deal with with addicts I guess. It culminated when she lost her job and got blackout drunk that we had to call an ambulance. The very next day, she drank herself unconscious again. BAC .398.

She has been in for 3 weeks and typically calls me during her therapist session. (side note I have 2 eleven year olds from a previous relationship and we have a 19 month old) . Yesterday I found out that our entire life savings may have been wiped out by a cryptocurrency platform going under. We have been dipping into this to cover our bills, not to mention the $30k (we lost insurance) for her rehab. I fully understand that she needs to be a it selfish during rehab and focus on her, I love her dearly and support her in this 100%.

I didn't know if I should tell her about it or not (she is also an attorney and i wanted to see if there was something I should be doing in the interim as it will be 3 more weeks until she returns). I defer to her thereipt on how to proceed. I send the therapist the email I received and she tells my wife. The therapy session comes and goes. No call.

I get a message from the therapist - Samantha doesn't want to call today, she wants to focus on herself and needs time to process.

This is really out of the blue. My wife and I have been very much ride or dies for each other and I consider this an emergency. I feel so alone,sad and depressed. I am holding the fort down while my wife in previous conversations (I saw her briefly Thursday when I dropped off more thing she wanted.) sounds super happy and has made all these amazing "friends".

My knee jerk reaction is that she is re-evaulating the relationship, but I don't have anything to really back that up except for my sadness that she would not call me to chat today, but did cal her parents - who also advised how great she sounds.

I am happy for her. I do see her old self returning , but I get worried as there has been massive trust issues and she cheated (with a girl) before she left. The therapist said she was doing great, not coupling up or anything and that Sam is just working on setting boundaries and figuring out what she wants. She was very loving and happy when I saw her Thursday - is it just that she doesn't think this is that big of a deal and is afraid dealing with this "headache" now will not be good for her? I can't help but be worried after reading all these stories of people leaving marriage after they have this epiphany about new life habits and needing for change.

This is so hard. I miss my wife - I feel so lonely and forgotten and now abandoned. Am I just being selfish? Am I reading into her response too much?

Does anyone have stats on if rehab ever/sometimes/rarely can cause the addict to leave a relationship?
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