You have found a great forum here tacomas, and like others, I am sorry for what brings you, but grateful to you for sharing your story.
My son is an alcoholic...he is 30 years old, and has cut me out of his life because I dared to shine a light on his alcoholism.
I haven't seen him or spoken with him in almost 4 years now. It's heartbreaking. There are family members who think he is doing just fine because he has a good career and he actually just purchased his first home. As if...that's all it takes. His family and personal relationships were the first to go, and I have read here over and over that this happens often. The job is the one thing they excel at until of course, they can no longer. I pray that my son will find a bottom that will cause no harm to himself or anyone else.
I have learned that it is best for me to not be involved in his life right now. Truth is...I don't even know this man.
I hope you find the answers you look for...this is a terrible disease and it completely changes people we know and love until we no longer know them.