Welcome, Tacomas, glad you have found us.
Sorry for this situation you are having to deal with. I relate very much to the confusion you feel. I experienced that with my drinking husband. I wondered if I was overly sensitive too. I think this came about from the lying, hiding and gaslighting that alcoholics routinely.
I ended up not believing my own eyes to things going on right in front of me. My brain was so foggy.
You are very much correct in your outlook. He is twisting it all around and making your fault, again which is what alcoholics do. It is him who is bullying you not the other way around.
I encourage you to read around this board, I am sure you will relate to what others are sharing.
Glad to read you are separated so you can decide what you want from your life. Do you want the heartbreak and chaos alcoholism brings?