I'm glad you made it back alive Obladi. You may well be correct about that old childhood stuff being part of your relapse. Often old trauma elicits fear.... and with it, the seeming need for liquid courage.
It was so nice to see you make reference to being an INFP. Its clear you are making the effort to understand yourself. That is very admirable. The words on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi say it best. "Know thyself". It may be a difficult road but I have confidence you can find your way. Most important right now (IMO) is to understand, as best you can, exactly why you took that first drink. A mistake without a lesson learned is a tragic thing. Understanding that mistake may even make it meaningful.
One thing you might want to consider is asking your daughters how you can make it up to them. Sincerely make every reasonable effort to let them define the terms for you to make things right. I found this very helpful in my own recovery.
This INFJ wishes you all the best.