Originally Posted by
Kaily I'm so sorry you relapsed Obladi.
If I am understanding it correctly, it happened when therapy reopened old wounds?
The closet I have come to relapsing was in a very similar situation. I was forced to attend group therapy, it was torture. It triggered my ptsd and made all my past traumas raw and unmanageable. After the sessions all I could think of was to drink to alleviate the feelings. Luckily I didn't succumb but I did have to leave therapy and accept, for me, it is not healthy.
My past does bother me but it is better left there. Sharing it is just to painful and definitely not compulsory to recovery. What works for some doesn't work for others.
Wishing you the best.
Wow do I get this. Thanks for sharing that, Kaily. One reason I relapsed after more than 3 years sober was that I had been attending AA meetings and kept thinking I needed a spiritual solution of some sort to calm the never ending voice of my ego - always complaining and criticizing.. well I was living in a developing country at the time, no wonder. But I decided to dig into the step work and counseling, and over the course of several months it brought up so much emotional baggage from my traumatic and chaotic childhood and early adulthood, not to mention my long and complicated life (as an ACOA), with all those broken relationships and feelings of guilt and remorse - that I eventually sought relief and caved.
I do think sometimes its best to just make peace with the past and move on in the present because there’s just no way to fix those things now. We have to accept that they're just part of our past, but they don't need to define us now.