Alcohol was an escape for me, but I never got to choose the end destination of the escape...and for me, the escape always wound up in hell. It was never going to change. It was never going to be any different. It was always going to end in hell. History showed me that time and time again. It was never going to change. It was never going to be any different. It was the way it was and it was going to stay the same. It was never going to change. It was never going to be any different.
I don't know about you, but that was my experience at any rate.