You know, I can throw that kind of stuff around, but can I do it? I still don't have a job in another town. I can't get a place here because that woud require a 6-month minimum lease, and I don't want to be here that long. He's here, his family is here, and I couldn't handle them being mad at me or the pressure they would put on me. I would have to leave town entirely to escape.
Ya know what I hear in this paragraph, TG? You're making all sorts of excuses NOT to go. Sounds like you want everything perfect before you'll be able to actually cut the chord, and unfortunately, life is never perfect.
My thought on this... focus on one thing at a time. For me it would be, am I staying or going? Once I've made up my mind to go, then I'd start looking for a job... something, anything. I'd tend to be a bit flexible in what I would take b/c all I need is something to just get me the heck away. I can always change jobs later. Once that is lined up, the housing will fall into place. Maybe you can do a low cost hotel room for a week or two, then find yourself short term apartments (they are out there!).
The key to making it all work? One step at a time. Try any more than that and life becomes very overwhelming very quickly. First things first, okay?
Hugs to you! I know it's not easy, but it's also not impossible. I was living with an ex down in San Antonio. He sexually abused me one night, claimed that he thought I would "enjoy it." I made up my mind then and there I wasn't going to stay. I deserved better. It was scary as hell, at first. My whole family was back in NY, and there I was half a country away. All sorts of excuses that could have kept me with him, except I made up my mind that I was not going to subject myself to it. I found a lady who worked in my office building, she was willing to lend me her couch for a few weeks until I found something (plus I needed to save up some cash!). It was embarassing to have to take the charity of others, but I knew I couldn't do it alone. I found a nice little place and negotiated with the landlord on the contract. I told him my situation and he let me pay the deposit in installments. About 8 months into the apartment, the ex started harassing me there.... it was time to get out of Texas. Again, scary but I made up my mind that my safety was priority number one. Step by step, one thing at a time... and all things eventually worked themselves out. The key is knowing what you want, and sticking to it.
Awareness - we become aware of the situation we're in.
Acceptance - we accept the situation for what it is, and acknowledge what we can change, and what we can't.
Action - We figure out what we can change, how we want to change it... and we put the wheels in motion.
Where do you think you are in that process? I know for me, I can't begin any action until I've fully accepted the truth of the situation.
Just some of my random thoughts, TG. I know it's a tough situation, but I know that there is also lots of hope.
Shannon