Thank you everyone. So so so much. Your messages are helping me get thru a very dark time in my life. We have another counseling session and I suspect he is going to end it officially then, but I am not sure because he gives me mixed signals. I suspect that he has convinced himself that I am responsible for all his misery and the only way to be happy is to leave. I love him and want him to be happy, so I know I need to let him go if that's what he wants. It just hurts so deeply, as I know you all understand, because I have been loyal thru so much crap and he just doesn't care. It's so screwed up that even after all the damage he and his addiction have done, all the blame he is throwing at me now, that I love him so and find it devastating to imagine my life without him. Ugh...