I am so embarrassed about the situation
Why be embarassed? Is it because you feel like you make a bad decision and you should have known better? Well poo to that b/c ALL of us make bad decisions, inspite of "knowing better!" Sometimes I make the same bad decision 10 or 12 times before I finally figure out the better way! (ie. I shouldn't walk through the bedroom in the dark b/c I always slam my knee into the sweater chest! However, I still do it at least once a week! Guess I have more learning to do!)
Looking back in time and second guessing won't do you any good, nor will forecasting the future.
Live in the here and now. Judge your situation as it is. Figure out what you want it to be. And go from there.
Hugs,
Shannon