The healing process is a marathon and the seemingly simple things can be so complex when we look back. I hadn't realized how free I had become until one afternoon of being back in the alcoholics environment let me see how easily it is too adopt the old behavior patterns without conscious thought. He and my daughter had been pressuring me to spend this coming weekend with them at the last home football game, it would involve 2 hours alone in the car with AH, I had reservations before but now it is a hard no. I can't and won't. I will use that time to pack things I will need in my new home. I won't be able to go full no contact but I can definitely limit contact and make it more on my terms. Thanks for the support. I have a group of ladies now that are supportive, they don't know all the details but are new friends that I am able to do things with. It is nice to be able to go do things with people and everyone is adult and responsible. I even have a Christmas party this year. Holidays will be hard and I will need to stand firm on boundaries there as well, as he continues to drink and his judgement is clouded I believe he will try harder to push the boundaries. Up until lately he has been reasonable but with the holidays and his increase in drinking I see a potential conflict brewing. He keeps reminding me that I never went out the last few years we were together and now he hears through our daughter that I have been going out and doing things, he fails to make the connection that I didn't want to do things with him because all he cared about was getting drunk. But it isn't worth explaining to him now, I tried months ago and he didn't get it then. But I digress and you all know the pattern. Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today. I will be at peace again. The weather is supposed to be nice today before turning colder- probably a good day to take the dog for a good walk. Have a wonderful day everyone!