So I'm still in the wake of this "letting go process." I gave myself a reaction migraine yesterday because it was so emotional for me to say my goodbyes, but I was strong and did it. I know as I get further out it will be easier, but right now the scabs are fresh and it hurts.
What has also not helped make this any easier is XABF messaged after many months of silence, wanting to "be friends." I was kind but made it clear that wasn't what I want or need.
It seems counterintuitive that while I'm letting go of so many destructive relationships right now, I'm also wishing that I had healthy connections to fall back on. This is part of the learning process for me, to learn what is healthy and what is not, to build better friendships going forward, and I accept this. I'm just finding this road today to be a bit remote and isolated. A recent meme a friend posted seems a good reminder for me today: "sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you're still a dumba**"
Yes, Universe, I'm learning.