Jase, I think you do need to really plug in to a way of life that excludes alcohol - No Matter What.
It isn't a solution for loneliness, fear of important phone calls, fear of dads, work problems, family problems, personality clashes, anxiety, discomfort.
It just isn't a Solution, ever.
Keep posting here, I notice you slipped away. I vow every morning to stay on that Sober Bus. So far, so good, nearly eight years in.