Originally Posted by
sage1969 
I'm letting go of something in my life. It's difficult. I've invested time and energy and heart and prayer. But I also know that leading up to days when I am committed to do this thing, I feel really yucky, physically ill. So in the last month I've been thinking about letting go, stepping away from this role and commitment.
I feel somewhat sad in that I am letting go of people with this change, and I've few friends left after all the changes I've made in my life the last few years. But I also know this is the correct step forward for me, I also feel a lightness now that I've made the decision. This is not a step I take lightly, and a year ago I would not have been able to step away, I would have kept ignoring my gut feelings, kept up appearances though it was making me so heartsick.
So this is progress. It hurts a bit. It also feels like a step in the right direction.
I am sorry you are feeling sad... I believe that the relief will grow... I know for myself in my healing process I have had to let go of a lot. For example, tonight is one of my longest friends Halloween party but it will have over 100 people... a lot of couples and all drunk. I was suppose to go but told her I am finally in a space in my head where I am aware of my feelings and dealing with them and I feel too raw to be around that enviroment. I know it is only one night... But I know how you feel ...hang in there.. you are doing amazing growth