Hi Joelr,
You're welcome here.
Sounds like you are having a hard time. I drank almost immediately when I came out of rehab. In fact, I'd say it's not uncommon.
I did very well in rehab and my family were really hopeful that I had "cracked it" whatever that means.
So the horrible disappointment they felt when I drank was hard on them.
I think it's unrealistic for me to expect my family to see me as a different person until they can get used to seeing me acting differently.
And in your case, you went and bought vodka. So why would they think you have changed?
You didn't drink in rehab, so you've proved that you can survive without it. Admittedly, it's more difficult in the real world but you should remind yourself that you don't have to take that drink. You have the power to control your life.
Guilt and shame are useful in that they can spur you on never to feel them again. But not as an excuse to drink.
I wish you well.