Pure O and sobriety.
Hi All,
Was wondering if I’m alone here?
I gave up drinking 2.5 years ago, and if you find my other thread you will see what a struggle it was for me. I obsessed about having done the most horrible things when blackout drunk. Things that I would never do sober. Now I am aware that although your inhibitions are lowered when drunk, you are not going to change personality to the extent that you would knowingly commit crimes that you wouldn’t dream about sober. However, with the Pure O and the blank spots my mind has created the worst possible scenarios that could have happened during those hours. From sexual assault to hit and runs.. the list is endless. There was never any evidence to suggest such things ever happened but because I don’t remember I feel the guilt and shame as if they did.
I have tried many forms of talk treatment(CBT, ERP etc)but haven’t really found anything that really helps. I feel so responsible for the irresponsibility of my drinking that I’ve kinda convicted myself and am punishing myself daily as a result.
I am finding hypnotherapy helps with self forgiveness but I have the massive surges of overwhelming guilt that seems I may be stuck with for life.
Is there something out there that could help I’m unaware of? Ironically I know a drink would take it all away immediately but would make it 10 times worse the next day - so I know that is not and will never again be, the solution.
Thanks for reading.