The path through the pain (not around it, it can't be avoided) is Acceptance. His issues with alcohol existed before you came into his life, and they don't have anything to do with you. Addiction is incredibly cruel, but no matter how personal his behavior feels, it actually isn't. He is operating under the influence of the addiction, which wants only to maintain the status quo. As long as you weren't questioning the drinking, you were okay, but once you did, the addiction recognized you as a threat, and began its campaign to protect itself. That's why he pushed you away--because you were the one person who would support him if he decided to get help.