Your story is familiar to most of us. The alcohol changes their personality and you don't recognize them anymore. You actually start thinking you're the one who's crazy. Doesn't make much sense.
The only thing you have control over is your actions and reactions. You have to put the focus back on yourself and I know how difficult that is. You can't make her reach out for help but you can get help for yourself. Keep reading all the posts here and you'll start to get a feeling for what actions you may want to take.
Not very concrete advice but the best I can do right now. You're not alone. I'm sorry that you have to go through this too.