Lostandsad and prairiegirl, I see actually how the two things being said really are the same thing! Or at least, have a lot of overlap.
Lostandsad it almost sounds like by asking you, the subtext was he was asking you to be his hostage. “Please be the woman I pin my hopes and dreams on, please put me first at the cost of your own health, please jump on this crazy train, please be my hostage instead of my partner.” It’s still up to us if we accept that offer or not. And it’s up to us how long we stay.