trailmix

I so agree with this. It is discussed here sometimes, in the case of a romantic partner with alcoholism, how we are taught from a young age that relationships work "this" way, whether that is through tv or movies. We also have certain expectations based on experience (or lack of). When we are then put in to the world of alcoholism, all those norms fall by the wayside yet many will hang on to what "could be", to the alcoholics "potential" or because one is expected to be "loyal". Do you just leave behind your Husband or Wife because they have a problem?

Well as you also stated SBM, it affects everyone in the vicinity. It's not a normal relationship.

For children, we are taught that NO MATTER WHAT, we shall always be there for them, through thick and thin and then thick again. Again, No Matter What. But this isn't a movie and this isn't a normal situation and I don't think that it's healthy for the parent to continue to sacrifice, but it seems in society to almost be expected.

I don't mean just for addictions either. Sometimes a parent and child can have a parting of the ways for other reasons. Even though the child my now be a grown up adult, the "blame" will always fall to the parent.

Personally I think there is always enough blame to go around and it's useless. I also don't think that any parent is expected to sacrifice their happiness in life because their child is an addict. Whether an addict or dependent in some other way, when you let them cope on their own you give them the respect to say, you can do this and you also risk alienating them. I wonder sometimes if sacrifice comes from fear of losing a relationship.

Anyway, Lynn, please know this is not directed at you personally, just something I have been pondering.