For me, I’ve realized my favorite way to participate in the give-and-take that is natural in a healthy community is by waiting till I’m invited/asked for help. Maybe not always in words, but if someone comes to a place (food bank, laundry love night, place of worship, etc) that is offering, I consider that a form of asking/accepting support. Or if I know asking makes someone uncomfortable, I may offer but never push if I am turned down.
You know, I think it is a bit of word-choice, too! I prefer to think of whatever acts of service I do as “support.” Supporting my community. It’s not me giving a gift/charity. It’s me wanting to be included in a community, a village, and understanding that doing my part is how I belong. Others do the same for me. Perhaps charity is cold because it almost implies you aren’t “in the trenches” with your fellow man.