My God...it has been a year...m
since I was just in a horrible place.
I just reread my posts from a year ago. WOW, I was a mess....of course, yes, I do recall that...on a daily basis.
SO much has changed.
I am in control of our finanacial situation and no longer fear ANYTHING on that front. We have no debt, I can cover our household costs with my income and we actually have a savings account...that is a mind blowing change in a year.
I am also in control of my freaking hair and have a standing appointment every 10 weeks so as not too get TOO scary looking.
James is working and making good money and feeling SOOO proud of himself when he does well.
He is still drinking, sometimes too much. However, I am no longer blaming everything that I feel about MY life on that. It totally sucks that he is a non recovered alcoholic and that he will most likely crash and burn if he does not get it under control, however, I am also aware that he is a lovely man who is not intentially trying to ruin his life and that he, clearly, has no intention to ruin my life. If he would get his act together fully, things would be just about perfect. Damn alcohol...seriously, that is ONLY thing that I am hating about our life right now.
So, what has changed in a year. Well the furniture in my house is still in the same places...that is about it.
Happy 2006 and really, at then end of THIS year I KNOW I will be fine. I breath on a regular basis and I am in control of the things that in the past have terrified me the most. I love my husband. I hate that he is alcoholic.
Jenny