cold as charity
I just came across this phrase in a book I was reading . . . it might not be politically or socially correct, but is aptly descriptive in the situation described by the Scottish author.
I started thinking about why charity might be considered cold. I thought about how in traditional Scottish culture, it's considered a good trait to be hardworking and self - sufficient. Then I thought that charity couldn't be cold because it helps others who are in need, that there are truly people who need help, and mostly are unwilling to ask for it.
But then I really thought about it: charity is cold. This is where codependency comes in. Our modern society seems to be filled with it -- volunteering in itself should be a good thing, a community - minded thing. But for codies, volunteering really fills our tank, helps us feel worthwhile. And I think that's where the coldness comes in. For codies, it's about us, about the good things we've done for the less fortunate. And it's cold because it's not about us, yet we make it that way, we make it cold by minimalising how "the less fortunate" might feel, by telling a story about how we rescued "the less fortunate" with our good deeds, how selfless and self - sacrificing we are . . .
Ugh. Time to be thoughtful.