Originally Posted by
2getheryetalone 
I know in my situation my ABF refuses to leave with stipulations like 'I'll go to therapy and rehab if you let me stay' or 'i have no where to go, let me stay till I figure it out' and weeks later he never left and we moved past it.
There's no bargaining with an alcoholic. They will say whatever they have to, to guarantee they can keep drinking. If it means agreeing to whatever it is that you want, they will. And then they will go back to doing what they want: drinking.
At some point, you will need to make some decisions about how you want to live. And if it means he's no longer in your house, then make that decision, inform him, and then stand by your decision. No bargaining, no letting him stay, no moving past things.
This is a bit like parenting, only an alcoholic is more manipulative than a child. "I've decided you must move out by the end of the week." "I think it's great if you go to therapy and rehab, but you still must move out by the end of the week." "You have a week to figure out where you will go (what about rehab), but you still must move out by the end of the week."
It can be tough to be firm, especially since you have a long relationship history and a child together, but if you want him out, set your boundaries and stick with them.
Originally Posted by
2getheryetalone I'm still trying to figure it out how to get him out myself and it's been 5 years. I refuse to leave. I already moved out once and bought my own house and now he's here. Even with it being my house there's no way to get police involved unless we're in danger. I think there's some kind of landlord/tenant thing to file but haven't looked into it yet. If you figure it out let me know.
So here's where your boundaries come into play: don't let him move back in. He is a grownup and can find his own place to live. Don't store his stuff for him. He is a grownup and can pay for storage someplace else. If he wants to visit with his daughter, don't do it at your house. Go to a park or a McDonald's. Your home becomes off limits once he moves out -- because he no longer lives there. (And I would say that once he is out, change all of the locks. It is worth the expense).
Yes, you can look into your municipality's landlord / tenant laws, maybe see if your municipality has a legal help center to advise you. You might need to be proactive and make calls. You can also check with your local domestic violence agency as they might have advice also (even if there hasn't been violence yet, I'm sorry to say that it is a common escalation with alcoholics; it is also common when you want to leave them, so get as much information as possible and they can give you tips on how to get him out safely).