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Old 01-04-2006, 05:54 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
BigSis
On a tear
 
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Alanon ruined my home.

Yep. When I was sick, I would obsess about the house... everything done the "right" way... MY way!

Oh! And the anger I would need to get me through.

I work full-time, 2 kids at home (who needed to be as perfect on the outside as I was because they reflected ME, don't ya know). Soccer, scouts, football, dance... one kid of each flavor and going in twelve directions at once and Mr. Big working nights and sleeping days.... Yep. Anger was the only way to ensure the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming, the laundry, the sweeping and dusting got done on a regular basis. Add in the need to reorganize closets, desks and drawers every so often... hell, I couldn't AFFORD to not be angry!!!

Resentment was my FUEL!!! "Pigs!! Filthy Pigs!!!" was my BATTLE CRY... or battle mutter, anyway.

Then I did something REALLY stupid. I found Alanon. I started putting things into perspective and began to notice that my need to clean had something to do with fixing things on the outside... while the inside bubbled and roiled.

The inside isn't done yet... but I've given up my crazy cleaning to work on it a bit.
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