Thanks Journeygal
I have seen it a million times. The alcoholic finds recovery and the anon gets sort of stuck or confused. The alcoholic's life is suddenly becoming much better where the anon is left with all the wreckage and it doesn't seem fair. However, the alcoholic can't fix it either. The alcoholic, in time, has to deal with his own wreckage. Some of which, of course, is the loss of trust and respect from family and the repreciussions of that. It sucks, but a pity party is very dangerous for a newly sober alcoholic. I was told by my sponsor, when the time came, not even to make a formal amends to my parents, too much damage. My ownership of what happened and my apology would really mean nothing. They've heard it all or seen it all before, even if this time, it's sincere. My sponsor said the best thing I could do to make amends to my parents was to stay sober and do the next right thing. Eventually, over time, an amends like that means more than anything because we are all building trust back......one day at a time. For the alcoholic, it's important for them to feel like we are making that amends, it motivated me to stay sober. I was sorry and my staying sober helped me to feel good about myself and when you like yourself, you're less likey to lie, be decietful, etc.