Dear PeaceFulWater:
Thanks for your inputs, I agree with that how it envaded us this thing addiction, like drug itself, the men who are dysfunctional is like drug dealer...
I never drink or go out, or travel or buy clothes. But always spent my money for men likely, likey buying expencise clothes, gadgets etc.... even for crushes when I was yonger, isnt that mad??? Or impulsive clothing and beauty stuff shopping for myself if I am in relationship.
Of course, I take care of my family members and helped my nephews sometime elementary school tuition, rental and household stuffs since I live with time, but even I was far away, I used to send money to my family, but I saved nothing for me like saving, I just consumed. From my last job, I started to save a little money to my three nephews future college tuition, b/c their parents can afford their rental and tuition stuff. The rest of the salary I just spend for the alkie man to keep him with me, I guess inlcuding buying his alcohol too and food, rent and other all household stuff. From early on, I never learned to save....... I just spend.... compulsively.